


You've Grown Up a Little, You Haven't Really Changed

by ProfessorDrarry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff without Plot, Inheritance, M/M, Marauders' Era, Post-Hogwarts, the london flat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorDrarry/pseuds/ProfessorDrarry
Summary: In which Remus is content, Lily is frustrated, James takes care of everything, Peter is not helpful, and Sirius acts like an adult for once. Oh, and the Canary Islands are partially owned by House of Black.





	You've Grown Up a Little, You Haven't Really Changed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [josiemoone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiemoone/gifts).



> For Josie Moone, who is simply the loveliest, especially for putting up with my excessive overuse of emojis and constant whining. Happy boys, just for you <3  
> ...
> 
> I have no idea why these Wolfstar fluff fests keep happening. I'd blame summer, but I suspect it's actually somehow Remus Lupin's fault. I'd also promise this was the last time but we all know that would be a lie. This started as a drabble, but then I looked up and it was 4k. Oops O_O

* * *

_Seize the night, let shadows run wild in your mind_

_Seize the night, and do your best to lose track of time_

_Seize the night, and the path won't feel so long._

_–_ Will Varley.

* * *

The rain pounded steadily against the window, and Remus tunnelled deeper into the sofa, pulling his knees up to his chest so he could rest his book on them. A portrait of a young Moony, he thought wryly. Truthfully, the contentment of the moment was a strange and perfect feeling, and he was almost holding his breath, waiting for the bubble to burst.

It had been close to a year since they had all ended up in the flat, and it still looked like four teenage boys lived here, with its combination of stolen and scavenged furniture, no real decorations to speak of, with the exception of the random bits of Lily that had popped up when no one was looking; the illusion that she wasn't living here full-time was steadily slipping. Thanks to her, there was a tablecloth on the kitchen table, paintings hung on the faded beige walls, and a candle in the bathroom that smelled sort of nice.

Remus didn't mind, but he was starting to think that Lily should probably just move in for real. It made him feel better, when he knew where everyone was. They were all here now, for example, on this dismal February afternoon, and it felt right. For once, no one was running off to work or to a meeting, no one had a sports practice or errands to run. Slovenly attitudes had set in as the morning's drizzle turned into early afternoon downpour, and except to refill a bowl of crisps, no one had moved in almost an hour.

Peter was in the corner, nestled between two crates of records he'd picked up at some Muggle boot sale, looking extremely pleased with himself. He was pulling them out one by one, examining the vinyl, then sorting them by his ridiculously complicated system onto the shelf behind him. He was giving off a very Wormtail-esque sense of contentment, so no one was disturbing him.

Lily was perched on the floor with the watercolour palette she'd found in her parent's attic, and a small, serene smile had settled across her face as she painted a nondescript, pastel filled, nature scene. James was sprawled on the floor beside her, not actually doing much of anything; occasionally throwing a tennis ball in the air, laughing at Sirius, looking lovingly at Lily. Nothing useful, but nothing disruptive either.

Sirius, as usual, was causing the only source of commotion in the flat. After having spent nearly an entire hour quietly sprawled across Remus' lap with a book in his hands, allowing Remus to run his fingers through wayward strands of hair, Sirius had suddenly declared dreadful boredom. He had leapt up dramatically, making them all flinch. Lily had not-so-subtly suggested he could use his restlessness to actually unpack his Hogwarts chest.

Well, she may have actually said, 'Sirius Black, if you are so bloody bored, why don't you empty that godforsaken Black family heirloom that you've so cleverly disguised as a coffee table for the past year'.

Regardless, Remus was now alone on the couch and the chest had been flung open in the middle of the room. Objects from their collective pasts were now flung around haphazardly, and every once in awhile, Sirius managed to stop scowling long enough to burst into laughter at some object pulled from the depths of the terror that was the chest. The Terror was Lily's nickname for the thing, but secretly everyone agreed.

Lily hated it because she regularly walked into its metal edges, setting off the ridiculous anti-theft charm, which screamed obscenities at her and called her all sorts of foul names. James hated it because he had never actually managed to break into it while in school, a fact that would likely make him bitter until the end of time. Peter claimed to have no special feelings toward the chest, but everyone noticed his refusal to look at the skull in the crest embossed on the side, which he swore had once winked at him.

Remus hated the chest for an entirely different, entirely selfish reason; it represented everything they had all escaped, everything they were fighting against. He had never mentioned this to Sirius, because he knew that Sirius didn't really view the horrible iron chest as anything but an old trunk he'd taken from his house to hold his school things. It was a perfectly bizarre – and classically Padfoot – paradox. The man could rant and rail about his family for hours, but didn't see anything wrong with using thousand-year-old silverware for dinner each night, or the insanity of using a cursed chest as a coffee table. Remus didn't know why, but he did know that any mention of it would only end in a fight, which was something he studiously avoided at all costs. Instead, he'd talked Lily into throwing a frilly cloth over the damned thing, and never sat in the room alone because it made him so uneasy.

Now, with it flung open – the green velvet interior radiating an old funk, mixed with the distinct smell of the Gryffindor boy's dorm – Remus was having a harder time ignoring it. He could only hope that once it was actually empty, he'd be able to convince Sirius to get rid of it.

"Aha!" Sirius exclaimed for approximately the eightieth time, dramatically extracting whatever he'd found and holding it high above his head. "Behold, ladies and noble knights… the stolen cup of Minerva McGonagall!"

Peter looked up first, grinning and laughing. Remus and Lily glared at him, both silently begging Peter not to encourage Padfoot, who had already regaled them with no fewer than fifteen stories of the pranks of yore. Peter just shook his head and went back to his task.

"Who remembers the infamous night of stealing my darling Minnie's cup from right under her nose at the teacher's table?" Sirius said grandly.

Remus calmly turned the page and refused to engage, just as he had been doing for the past forty-five minutes. He honestly had no idea what was going on in the book anymore, and he'd have to reread all of it, but it felt worth it to stay out of this trip down memory lane.

James, of course, felt no such need.

"First of all," he said, pointing at Sirius, "We still have no solid proof that it's _actually_ McGonagall's cup, since _literally_ all the goblets at Hogwarts are identical. And secondly, no one but Pete saw you actually steal it and his memory of the event changes with every retell — Sorry, Wormtail, but you know it's true."

Peter just shrugged, not looking up, likely fearing retribution from Lily.

"Remus remembers, don't you Moons?" Sirius pleaded, tugging on Remus' toe.

"That prank had less purpose than most, which is a true skill, really, and therefore, I refuse to speak of it. Cup in the bin, Pads," Remus sighed.

Sirius gasped, "Absolutely not, Moony! I will obviously be using it. In fact, henceforth, I shall only be receiving liquids which are presented to me in this ancient and noble goblet."

"Whatever," Remus said, eyes rolling despite his lack of audience.

"Is no one going to point out that Padfoot's 'keep' pile is ten times larger than his 'bin' pile?" Peter said, holding out an album for James' inspection.

"I suspect," Lily interjected, "that regardless of his silence now, Remus will end up taking charge of the 'keep' pile before it actually ends up anywhere in the flat. Seeing as he'll have to put up with it longer than any of us."

Remus tapped the side of his nose, pointing and smiling at Lily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peter go slightly pink and felt an instant drop of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Even though no one spoke of it, there was no question that eventually, James and Lily would have a place of their own. The flat belonged (miraculously) to Sirius, meaning he and Remus would stay. Peter would likely be allowed to stay as long as he needed, but they often caught him with Muggle letting agent posts, searching for something he could afford on his own. He'd never let them talk about it for long, but Remus felt a little bit mean whenever anyone pointed it out, even by accident.

"I beg your pardon, Mr Lupin, but I resent the implication that you can control my possessions like I am some sort of kept man," Sirius scoffed, an offended hand on his chest. "Besides, I quite clearly must keep all of these things. They are treasured keepsakes."

"Sirius, there is literally a bag of empty sweet wrappers," Remus said, finally looking at Sirius, and grinning at the sheer mirth he found in the other man's eyes. Damned Sirius Black; he was enjoying this way too much. "You need to keep a bag of sweet wrappers?"

"Absolutely," he said, shrugging, but with a very disconcerting glimmer in his eye. Remus just rolled his eyes again, and dragged his gaze back to his page.

For another twenty minutes, nothing of note came out of the chest. Old potion ingredients were placed begrudgingly in the bin. Single socks and a crumpled Harpies poster joined them, while a cracked pewter cauldron and sixteen tubes of donated Sleekeazy were deemed 'essentials', and added to the mountain beside Sirius.

Finally, they seemed to be nearing the bottom of the chest, with Sirius having to stand up to reach the objects in its depths. Remus had gone back a chapter and was actually, properly engrossed in his novel again, when suddenly, a quiet muttering snapped him to attention.

"Oh," Sirius had whispered, sitting down on the ground with a large leather folio in his hands.

"Pads?" Remus asked hesitantly, reaching out a socked foot to tap Sirius on the shoulder, "Alright?"

"Um… I completely forgot this was here," he replied, not looking up. James sat up too, and all eyes were on Sirius.

"Does it…" James started, but dropped off and had to take a breath before continuing. "I mean, is any of it still…"

"Some things. Not all of it, but," Sirius said, opening the folder, which protested with a loud crinkle.

"What is it?" Lily demanded of James. "You two are freaking everyone out."

Peter cleared his throat from his corner, before muttering, "His inheritance."

"Well, the deeds, anyway." Sirius agreed. "Pureblood heir's get them on their thirteenth birthdays. They are binding. Some of them are worthless now that I've been disinherited, but I'm still the first-born," Sirius stopped speaking abruptly and looked up at James.

"Sometimes, there are things that are passed down by birthright instead of by heir," James continued. "It was to protect families that had a lot of...division."

"Families such as the ever loving Noble House of Black," Sirius added wryly.

"Do you know which ones are which?" James asked, heedless to the fact that he hadn't really answered Lily's question.

"Yeah," Sirius said shortly, putting the folder down on a corner of the table and folding his legs.

"Want me to read them?" James whispered, reaching out. Sirius nodded and handed him the package.

James flipped the folio back open and spread the papers inside around him in an arc. Lily had put her painting down, and Peter wasn't holding an album for the first time in hours. Remus really did hold his breath this time, though he still wasn't quite sure what was going on, why the temperature in the room had dropped, or why the collective emotion in the air was now one of utter fear.

"Well," James said carefully, "I think we can safely assume that this vault key, and the deed to Grimmauld, are now firmly in Reg's name?"

Sirius snorted, and nodded a quick short nod.

"There's a holding in Blishen's?" James asked, and Sirius shook his head. "Yeah, that makes sense...to your cousins, right? No need for male lineage on that one. Well, okay...then there is this? It just says, 'Calidora'? I can't tell what it is, but if it's property, then it's still yours."

"Calidora?" Sirius repeated, arms dropping, looking up hopefully at James. "You're sure?"

"Here," James shrugged. Sirius took it, read it quickly, and leapt up.

"Calidora!" Sirius shouted, shaking the paper at the room. "Calidora, James!"

"Hurray?" James replied, thoroughly confused.

"Calidora, my lovely friends, is Chez Calidora. An ancient summer home. Named for the lovely Black-Longbottom matriarch, who hated English winters, and thus, who purchased an entire island on which to winter."

"What?" Lily deadpanned, thoroughly unimpressed with the boys by this point.

"An ISLAND, Lils. Near Tenerife," Sirius through his hands into the air, raining the paperwork down. "And thanks to your lovely partner in crime here, who actually paid attention when his father drowned on and on about Pureblood politics, we have just confirmed that I still own it."

"What?" Lily said, eyes narrowing, but with a cautiously brighter tone.

"It's not a main residence," James explained, smiling a little now that Sirius had stopped looking so murderous. "They put it in his name, and no one thought to cancel the deed, so it stands."

Sirius had closed the trunk, and was dancing around in a familiar little jig, the one he did whenever he was too excited, the one that made it very clear why his animagus was a dog.

"The house probably hasn't been opened in a decade. Mother hates it there, so no one ever goes. If I still own it, that means I can open it safely," Sirius grinned. "And if I can open the house, we should definitely be on that island. Like, tomorrow. Lily! The beach! James! The sunshine! Peter! The SAND. Ahh! Remus! Why are you still reading...are you even listening? We can escape this winter, all for free...come on, Moony, crack a smile!"

Remus, however, had frozen in place, and Sirius was officially too excited to notice. He was moving things out of his way, dancing and grinning, and James had now joined him. Even Peter and Lily were jabbering on about what they could bring for food.

He didn't blame them, not really, because the weather really had been miserable, and with the tasks Dumbledore kept assigning them, a modicum of hope was more than the five of them had experienced in months. But Remus? Remus couldn't help the cold sinking feeling that came over him, even if he did hate himself a tiny bit because of it. He watched the general frivolity for a moment more before quietly closing his book and unfolding his legs.

"Excuse me," he whispered, taking himself directly out of the room, through the kitchen, and onto the fire escape.

Behind him, Sirius had stopped moving. He watched Remus skulk out of the room and frowned.

"What's gotten into him?" James asked. "He's been in such a good mood the past few days. Aren't we like, weeks from a moon?"

Sirius nodded and Lily patted his back reassuringly. They all stared at the spot where Remus had been for a moment.

"Do you think it's because he can't swim?" Peter questioned.

"What?" Lily said scathingly. She always had the least amount of patience for Peter — well, for all of them in general, really.

"Think about it," Peter said defensively. "He can't, can he? When did he ever go in the lake with us? And when would he have learned? His mom was overprotective, and his dad spent all his energy trying to keep him hidden!"

"Peter," Sirius said gently, putting the deed down and smoothing down his hair. "You know I love you, but...do shut up."

Peter grumbled, but Sirius was already on his way out of the room. He stood watching Remus from the window for a moment, watching as the rain bounced off the Impervius he had obviously cast, watched as he shivered, assessing his posture and deciding that Remus wasn't angry, not really. Sirius took a deep breath and climbed out the window.

"Those things'll kill you," he said, the standard quip feeling hollow and tinny today.

"Only if you don't first," Remus muttered, the usual reply sounding just as artificial, as the smoke curled away from his face. He held the cigarette out to Sirius, who settled his arms over the railing beside him. Sirius shook his head.

"You gonna tell me?" Sirius asked.

"Maybe...but let me just...finish this," Remus said, inhaling again, but letting his arm drift closer to Sirius, who nodded and looked out into the rain that wasn't touching them. He pulled out his wand and cast a warming charm as well, for good measure, eliciting a small smile from Remus.

"Is it Spain specifically, or a moratorium on all sunshine?" Sirius said after a moment.

"I'm being stupid," Remus said, shaking his head and stubbing out his cigarette on the railing.

"You always say that any time you are angry with me," Sirius grumbled. "It's almost never true."

"This time, it's definitely true. And I'm not angry with you. I'm not angry with anyone."

"Well, that's just not honest, is it Moons?"

"I'm angry, but not at anyone. I'm just-"

But Remus abruptly stopped talking and sighed, standing up straight and stretching his arms up.

"Sirius, do you know what I was thinking this afternoon?"

"Well, I assume it was something along the lines of 'I am so glad that my boyfriend is a handsome devil with excellent taste in music and literature', but feel free to expand."

Remus laughed, and Sirius took the tiny spark of victory with a small internal leap.

"You aren't far off, Pads," Remus smiled. "I was thinking that, um…"

"Remus, it's me. Just me," Sirius whispered, reaching out to touch Remus on the cheek, half expecting him to shy away, as he always did when there was something he was trying to say and Sirius distracted him with affection. Today, though, Remus leaned into the touch, and Sirius got worried.

"I was just sitting there, with you, with James and Lily and Peter, and I was thinking. That despite it all, I was happy. Just...happy. We were all warm, and I knew where you all were. We were just being normal." Remus stopped talking, his small smile contradicted by the crease of worry and pain on his forehead.

"But then?" Sirius prompted.

Remus shook his head and leaned on the railing again, "We never get to escape them do we, Padfoot? The...zealots."

"The Purebloods, you mean," Sirius said.

"Them. All of them. It's like everything has been pointless. They disown you and throw you out, and you still want to…"

"I see," Sirius nodded. "You don't want us to take advantage of their hold on me."

"I'm kind of surprised you do, Sirius," Remus replied, voice tight and eyes closed.

"Do you know," Sirius sighed, "there is something I didn't tell you. About that day. My mother...she said I had to choose. That I had shamed them one too many times. She let me choose, Remus, but the options were quite interesting. Either, I could be disowned, lose my inheritance, lose the right to my blood status and my fortune, the right to my family name."

Remus looked at him now, and the eyes that met Sirius' were full of hate, anger, fear. Sirius looked away, afraid of continuing.

"Or, I could choose to stay, and be locked away in their tower and fed their lies, forced to marry who they chose, produce an heir, live the life they'd always tried to make me live. Not much of a choice, is it, love?"

"Sirius–"

"This is what I chose, Remus. I chose you. Our squalor, our 'normal', and I wouldn't change that. But, if they are going to force me to live without a family, then damned straight I am going to take every fucking inch I can get. I am going to exploit every second they forget how crafty I am."

"So, what? We just...pretend it's not the middle of a war?" Remus grimaced.

Sirius smiled his infuriatingly bright smile, and Remus wanted to hang onto his frustration but found he could not. Not when Sirius was suddenly draped across his back, arms wrapped around him tightly, transferring warmth on the still-freezing staircase, banishing the rain just a little bit more and smelling like the dorm because of all that time in the trunk.

"Sirius, I mean it," Remus whispered, even as he tilted his head to let Sirius shove his face into his neck. "What do we do?"

Sirius kissed the side of his neck gently, smiling as he pulled back enough for Remus to see his eyes.

"Well. I think we go to Tenerife, Remus."

* * *

Remus was relatively sure that in all his reading about Spain, he had completely neglected to retain the information that the Canary Islands were largely volcanic. And therefore, were very hilly. Robust. Mountainous, in fact. This was problematic, because Remus had also completely forgotten how much he hated bloody fucking exercise.

"This is it," he panted. "This is my life now. We have climbed this hill, and I will die here."

"Remus," Lily said, pulling on his hand to make him keep moving. "We've only been walking for like, twenty minutes, old man. Let's go!"

"I hate all of you. I hate you all so very much," Remus groaned, planting his feet against Lily's ministrations.

"Hey!"

"Except you, Peter. I shall not forget your gallant efforts to stop this stupidity. When I am dead, in the great beyond, I will smile down on you and send you good things."

"I was told we were going to the beach," Peter whined.

"Me too, my friend. Me too. But these people, they are evil," Remus flopped down on the ground as Sirius realised he had lost the troops and doubled back, standing over Remus' head and blocking out the sunshine.

"Moony, come on! I promise you it's worth it. But if we don't get going, we'll miss it," Sirius said, offering a hand. Remus took it, but he glared hard as he let Sirius pull him up.

"You are the worst of all the humans, and I shall despise you forever," Remus said, brushing himself off and taking Sirius' hand again as they set off.

"I'll remember that endearing sentiment unto my death bed, Remus," Sirius said.

They reached the top of the hill ten minutes later, and Lily pushed Remus out of the way to scramble to the middle.

"Merlin! Sirius!" Lily exclaimed. She sat down quickly. "James, come see."

James sat down beside Lily, smiling, and Peter dropped down beside him, mouth agape. Remus walked the last few steps and felt his own mouth drop; the view was unlike anything he had ever seen.

The horizon blazed in the pinks and oranges of sunset, reflecting off the water and interrupted only by the rocky coast. The tiny island where the house stood was small and secluded, and the islands all around it dotted in the distance, making the sky seem like it was melting into the ocean. Remus dropped to the the ground beside Lily, felt her put her arm across his shoulders, heard her laugh at his expression.

"Looks like our Moony boy doesn't regret the walk as much anymore," James said to Sirius, who sat down beside Remus and grinned.

"You okay, Moons," Sirius said, knocking into him with a gentle nudge.

And technically, Remus was okay. Here it was, February, and the weather didn't suck. Sure, it wasn't that warm, and it had rained most of the day, but when you had just left London in the winter, in the middle of a war, there were worse things than needing a jumper on a beachy island in Spain. He was surrounded on all sides by people whose embrace did not make him cringe, whose touch he had long ago learned to tolerate. He was free, and he wasn't going to change again for another two weeks. He was sitting comfortably, watching the sunset with the man he loved, and despite it all, he couldn't figure out how he had possibly gotten here. He didn't ever expect to be given anything, and yet. Here he was.

"How?" he whispered. Sirius looked at him and smiled.

"How what, Remus?" he said.

But Remus couldn't find more words; instead, he leant into the heat of Sirius at his side, turned to face him, pressed their foreheads together.

"Oy," James said. "No mushiness."

Remus laughed and laid back on the cool grass, dragging both Sirius and Lily with him. Peter and James followed, and as day turned to night, Remus felt hope flood his soul. As the stars reappeared, as they did night after night, Remus took the hands of those around him and swore to keep them safe. Swore to keep the hope that he'd just rediscovered on the surface. Swore to just stay, unapologetically, happy.


End file.
